Funny Blog entry entitled "I've had an affair"

I saw this blog entry on sparkpeople.com and thought it was too funny not to post (slightly edited):

Friday, January 02, 2009
So it's time to come out and admit it.
I've been having an affair with my fridge. It started sometime in November or December, and slowly became more passionate until the recent Christmas break, when it moprhed into what could almost be called psychotic infatuation and criminal stalking. Needless to say I've been neglecting the gym as a result, and the gym has decided to take revenge.
The first thing the gym did was tell my pants. My pants and I had really been getting on this year, they were comfy, they fit, I had new ones.... but maybe this was the problem. Maybe my pants were secretly getting nervous that as I'd discarded their predecessors so eagerly they thought they were heading for the same fate. So my pants listened to what my gym had to say and decided to take action. Then they told the scales.
The scales were very upset and started saying horrible and nasty things to me. They told me I weighed 179 lb the other day, and only a couple of months ago I was 169. I was unable to convince the scales that my relationship with them should not be impacted by my relationships with either the gym, the fridge, or indeed my pants, but my poor scales are codependent and wouldn't listen. My pants by this stage had done all this in vain as I was now in the verge of dumping them and going back to find their predecessors, which to me were not only more comfortable, but far nicer. This was too much and my pants told my mirror.
The mirror, never known for diplomacy, was blunt. It yelled at me YOU'VE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE FRIDGE. A BIG, LONG, PASSIONATE AFFAIR. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO EVERYBODY!! HOW COULD YOU? And every time I walk past the mirror, it yells it. Then of course, being an interconnected species, every other mirror in the universe got on the bandwagon, and now even when I'm washing my hands at work, the mirror in the ladies' bathroom yells YOU FOOD SLUT! I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING WITH THE FRIDGE. ONLY A MONTH AGO YOU HAD CHEEKBONES BUT NOW YOU HAVE A DOUBLE CHIN! So, of course, I'm in the toilet with pretty much every household appliance that doesn't live in the kitchen. Half my wardrobe is yelling at me. None of the mirrors like me either. So - I'm back on SparkPeople, I've joined a heap of challenges, I've got my gym class schedule on my fridge and I'm signing up for a triathlon or two.

PS: I've done well eating today. I had 1377 calories, 176g carbs, 29g fat, 108g protein. I also cheated and stepped onto the scale this afternoon. I know that scales aren't exact in reporting what is going on in the body, but I have to say, that if the trend keeps up, I'm going to be feeling a bit excited come Monday morning!